Tomorrow one of my skinny yoga teacher sisters is coming for dinner. (Yes, I’ve got two.) She’s not exactly a vegetarian – she eats a lot of fish, which is okay in the culinary curriculum of many vegetarians. (Fish being some sort of pseudo-animal, I guess, more related to an avocado than a pig.) There should be a new name for these types of eaters — quasitarians, maybe… or rationalitarians. She will also eat “small quantities” of meat. I’m not sure exactly where the line is on that one. I think I’ll play it safe and grill some whole sea bass, slice up some tuna crudo, make a couple pizzas.
My other skinny yoga teacher sister had been a vegetarian (fish aside) for as long as I can remember. Then she had heart surgery for a congenital defect and the doctor said she needed more iron. It was strange the first time I cooked a rib-eye for her. She took well to her new dietary guidelines.
I also dated a fair share of vegetarian (fish aside) yoga students, yoga teachers and aspiring-starlet-yoga practitioners during my single days. I mean, I lived in Santa Monica after all. I even once dated a vegan — no fish! But as a chef and Dionysian omnivore, it was always too much of a challenge. I couldn’t have dated anyone for long who watched a lot of television, vacationed in Lake Havasu or had a passion for country western music, either.
While I was never a nerdy office guy, I still felt my share of trepidation when contemplating asking out a skinny yoga student starlet. So I made this fun cartoon to give all the little guys encouragement. And remember boys, the magic word is “quinoa”. Enjoy.