27 Nov 2014 15 Comments
in Food, Humor Tags: confit, Evangelical Christians, Ferry Building, humor, Mexico, percebes, Southern cooking, Thanksgiving, Turkey, Vic Zaud
I’m a bit of a non-traditionalist, particularly when it comes to Thanksgiving. I think turkey pretty much sucks, stuffing does nothing for me, I don’t like pumpkin pie and cranberries are weird.
Kind conquerors feeding the savage Indians at the first Thanksgiving
So I faced a dilemma when my in-laws asked me to bring a turkey. I joked with my mother-in-law that I was going to solve the dry-turkey problem by serving mine medium rare. She laughed uneasily. More
26 Sep 2014 8 Comments
in Food, Humor, Observations, Pork Tags: abalone, Asian markets, chicken farming, Don Schneider, food, humor, opera, Pork, Portland, recipes
People often ask if we’re ever going to eat our pig, Henri. I explain that he’s a family pet, and no, we have no plans to eat him.
“Not even when he dies of natural causes?” my pal Dan asked.
“You mean like when an anvil falls on his head?” I replied.
Henri napping in the rosemary
I must admit, though … I did catch him napping in the rosemary one day, and thought to myself: “Now I could just build a quick mud oven around him, throw in some coals… and he’d never be the wiser.” More
12 Sep 2014 21 Comments
in Food, Humor, Pork Tags: black truffle, Iberico bellota pork, King Arthur flour, Nijiya Market, Perigord, Snake River Farms, tagliatelle
It was while browsing the produce aisle at my favorite Japanese market that I saw it — in a plastic container, settled on a bed of rice, a knobby black Perigord truffle.
Truffle-smothered Iberico pork shoulder steak
I picked it up and regarded it enviously. The price was $34, which for a truffle slightly smaller than a tennis ball seemed surprisingly reasonable. But it was more than I felt like spending, so I continued on to the fresh seafood section. But while I shopped for hamachi and albacore, my mind kept returning to the truffle. When I picked it up, I’d been hit by the unique perfume that told me this was a summer French truffle rather than a fall Oregon truffle. There is no other smell on earth like it. More
25 Jul 2014 11 Comments
in Food Tags: Amadeus, barbecue, bone marrow, Disney Frozen, Elsa, food, recipes, summer, Texas-style brisket
My breathtakingly beautiful, heartbreakingly headstrong daughter, Imogen, was turning 4. Her birthday week was upon us (“I can’t believe I’m four today!” she began saying daily a week before the actual date.) We invited a dozen or so of her pals, their siblings and families for the party — which meant somewhere between 40 and 50 guests, large and small.
Imogen and Pepito
Many people, when they do parties, plan them from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. — or, if they don’t want to serve lunch, from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Many of these parties take place at parks, indoor trampoline venues, laser tag facilities and the like. More
08 Jul 2014 16 Comments
in Food, Humor, Observations Tags: breakfast, chicken, eggs, food, God, humor, Kauai coffee, Nick Cave, Topanga
At times, I can be an elaborate cook — crafting complicated objets d’art composed of long simmered reductions, leaves blanched to ultimate greenness or fried to lacy crispness, powders of brilliant red or yellow, flowers and tiny herbs.
But at other times, I am reminded that nature — God, if you prefer — is the better artist.
It was Sunday morning, I was home alone sipping some Kauai coffee, listening to Nick Cave and reading the paper. And I got a little hungry.
Sunday breakfast
I’m not really much of a breakfast person. In my roguish youth, I’d skip the requisite greasy diner hangover breakfasts my friends would set out for on the weekends, and the languid Sunday brunches of the early career years held equally little appeal. These days, apart from the occasional extravagant Mexican or Japanese breakfast, I typically grab a handful of cashews or maybe a small bowl of muesli and blueberries. More
skinny girls & mayonnaise 