Tokyo Monster Steak

My pal Curtis — one of my oldest friends, a real-life cowboy and a legit carnivore — is one of the only reasons I still check Facebook from time to time. You see, Curtis likes to send me videos to my Facebook account. Videos of meat.

Examples of these have included “Fastest Tacos in the World — Tijuana” and “Jack’d Up Smoked Meatloaf.” Most recently, he sent me a video called “Massive Ribeye Steaks for Beasts”. It was produced by a group of Tokyo-based foodies who call themselves Hachiko District, and was shot at a restaurant called Monster Grill in that city’s Ebisu district.

Monster Grill is famous for two things — a 7-lb pyramid of six hamburgers which, if you can finish them in 30 minutes, you don’t have to pay your $75 bill; and a giant 2-pound, 2 inch-thick ribeye steak that is pounded down to one inch, grilled, sliced and slathered with creamy garlic sauce and served with a mound of rice. I watched the video. And it sounded pretty darned good. That garlic sauce was triggering something carnal in me. This, I had to try.

Curtis and me — which one is the real cowboy?

Now short of a quick research trip to Tokyo that seemed unlikely to pass the familial budgeting committee, I hit the internet. I have a deft hand with a ribeye, no help was needed there. But my search for “Tokyo Monster Grill garlic sauce recipe” yielded nothing, so I set about figuring it out myself.

Somewhere among the various videos and Yelp reviews, I saw someone describe the sauce as “mayonnaise-based”. Perfect for a blog called “Skinny Girls and Mayonnaise,” right? I didn’t call it that because I had a fear of mayonnaise. As far as the eye could tell, the sauce appeared flecked with orange. How does one fleck a creamy mayonnaise sauce with orange? Roasted chiles de arbol seemed like the answer.

I fried a head of garlic, pureed it with mayo and a few other ingredients, and nailed it on the first try. Does it taste like the garlic sauce at Monster Grill in Tokyo? I don’t know, I’ve never been there. But it looks pretty similar, and I hope for their sake that their’s tastes as good as mine.

BTW, you can also slather the garlic sauce all over that 7-lb burger tower, if you’re ever in Tokyo and really hungry. Or you could just make the steak like I did, and that might just be enough.

Enjoy!

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Tokyo Monster Steak with creamy garlic sauce
serves 4

2 lb. ribeye steak
1 large head garlic
1/2 cup grapeseed oil
4 dried chiles de arbol, seeded
1/2 cup Japanese kewpie mayonnaise
1 tbsp. rice wine vinegar
1/2 cup water
salt & pepper to taste

Pound your ribeye steak with a meat mallet until it is about 1-inch thick. Season with salt and pepper. Pre-heat oven to 350F.

Make your garlic sauce:

Break the head of garlic into cloves, and remove skin. Heat grapeseed oil over medium-high heat, and fry the garlic cloves, turning once or twice, until golden. Remove garlic from pan, and pan from heat. While the pan is still hot, toast the chiles for about 30 seconds in the hot oil, and then remove.

Place garlic cloves, reserved grapeseed oil, chiles, mayonnaise, vinegar and water in a blender and puree until smooth. Season to taste with salt.

Heat a cast iron skillet on high heat until it begins to smoke. Sear your steak for 90 seconds, and flip. Sear for another 90 seconds. Then place the pan in the oven. Cook to desired doneness — 3 minutes for rare, 5 for medium rare, and you’re on your own after that.

Remove pan from oven, and steak from pan to a cutting board. Slice across the grain into slices about 1/2-inch thick. Lay out sliced steak on a platter, and drench with garlic sauce. Serve with Japanese rice and more garlic sauce on the side. (And maybe a salad, what the hell.)

The Sierra’s Gambit

When I was a kid, I was regularly subjected to bribery at the hands of my father. The man was forever running the most tedious errands around the west San Fernando Valley — shopping for bricks and concrete at Jacobi Building Materials, picking up the rent from his apartment buildings in Canoga Park, etc. — and he wanted a buddy to come along. Usually, the promise of lunch at Sierra’s was enough to get the job done.

Canoga Park is a sufferingly hot, flat patch of mostly apartment buildings and car repair shops and a few really depressing looking strip clubs. But Sierra’s was an oasis — after traversing the blazing black asphalt parking lot, you would enter through the big wood front door into a dark, windowless, air-conditioned labyrinth of smooth leatherette booths and exotic Mexican kitsch. The chips and salsa and iced water arrived almost before you sat down. The salsa was hot, and those chips were good.

I would fold my small arms onto the cool endless resined wood of the booth tabletop, waiting for my big plastic-covered menu. There were convincing paintings of Mexican revolutionary heroes, and ceaseless surprises if you stared into corners and toward high shelves — big ceramic piggy banks, paper mache parrots and bunches of fruit, burro piñatas, maracas and little guitars. Years later, waiting in my car in Tijuana to cross the border back into the U.S., I would understand where all that stuff came from.

Okay, but — “How was the food?” you might in all fairness be wondering by this point in the essay. It was of the sort typical to Mexican-American eateries of the latter half of the 20th century — enormous platters-for-one boasting a continent of red-tinged rice and a sea of refried beans, plus whatever entree you chose. Usually for me it was a couple crispy tacos filled with shredded chicken. It all tasted greasy and good, not especially ethnically Mexican but close enough for the gringo kid and his dad.

In later years, my dad and I and sometimes a brother or two would go to Sierra’s to sit in the bar, eat those chips, drink pitcher of ice cold Mexican lager and talk about nothing in particular, maybe catching the action of whatever football game was on out of the corners of our eyes.

Steak milanesa

Sierra’s closed in 2012, a couple years before my father passed away. Now when I drive past, there is only a weedy empty lot that looks much smaller than the wonderfully caliginous palace of pinto beans from my memory. The funeral home where my father was cremated is just beyond. I had never noticed that back in the day.

A few weeks ago, I was at the Vallarta supermercado and saw some thinly sliced tri tip beef on sale. I purchased it, not sure what I was going to do with it. The idea came to me later — Mexican milanesa. I breaded and fried the big shavings of steak, topped the meat with shredded cabbage, salsa, lime and crema, and served it with red-tinted rice and refried beans.

It was the quintessential old school Mexican American restaurant meal, and it reminded me of Sierra’s and those weekend days with my dad. Maybe you have a Sierra’s in your past — maybe you’re lucky and it’s still standing. Pour yourself an ice cold Tecate, find some thinly sliced steak, cook up some milanesa and take your own meandering valley drive to the Mexico America of yesterday.

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Mexican milanesa with rice & beans
serves 4, amply

1 lb. thinly sliced tri-tip or other lean steak cutlets
1 cup flour
4 eggs, beaten
1 cup plain bread crumbs
1/2 cup canola oil
1 cup shredded cabbage
1/2 white onion, thinly sliced
generous handful cilantro, chopped
1/2 cup Mexican crema
salt
fresh lime

Preheat oven to 170.

Place canola oil (or other veggie oil) in a large pan and heat over medium-high.

Dredge steaks in flour, then dip in egg, and dredge again in bread crumbs. Cook two or three cutlets at a time, about 3 or 4 minutes per side, until golden brown and crisp. Remove and drain on paper towels, sprinkle with salt, and place in the oven to keep warm. Continue until all cutlets are cooked (there should be 4-6 cutlets per pound, depending on cut and thickness).

Toss together cabbage, cilantro and white onion. Place a cutlet or two on each of four plates. Top with cabbage mixture, and then a generous drizzle of Mexican crema. Squeeze fresh lime over meat.

Serve with refried beans and Mexican rice.

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Mexican rice
serves 4

1 cup long grain white rice
2 cups water
1 tbsp. chicken bouillon powder
1/4 cup cilantro stems and leaves, finely chopped
2 tbsp. tomato paste

If you have a rice cooker, combine all ingredients and press the “on” button.

If not, combine all ingredients in a large sauce pan on high. Bring to a boil, cover and reduce heat to medium-low. Cook for 20 minutes until done.

In either case, fluff and serve.

Orange Julius

When I was a kid, and we used to go to the Topanga Plaza Mall, I always hoped my parents might find it in their hearts to swing me by the Orange Julius.

You couldn’t miss the Orange Julius — over beyond the Cracker Barrel (or was it a Hickory Farm?), turn left at the Radio Shack, just before the Miller’s Outpost and there it was — the bright orange sign with the curvy type beckoning you.

It wasn’t quite a storefront, yet was more than a stand. In a glass case was a tower of oranges, just to show you that they actually made the drinks from fresh squeezed. I remember the building sense of anticipation as the line moved forward and we approached the counter.

Not me and my father

Forget the sexy teenage girls in their impossibly high hats, knee-high boots and TWA stewardess-inspired one pieces. It was the drink I was after. An ambrosial blended concoction of orange juice, milk, vanilla and ice. Every straw-sucked slurp from the wax-coated paper tumbler was pure heaven, and when I reached the foamy ice-flecked bit at the bottom, I was thoroughly satisfied.

For awhile, there were still a few Orange Julius shops around, hold-out testaments to an earlier, more innocent time. I haven’t seen one in a long while and am not sure if they’ve gone the way of the dodo. But I figured the drink out. So that that one time when I said to my children, “Come closer, let me tell you the story of the Orange Julius…” and initiated them into the legend, and they replied, “Dad, will you take us?” I could ease the inevitable heartbreak with the words, “But I can make you one…”

I call it “Orange Julius-ish,” just in case there are any toupee’d 70s-era vintage copyright lawyers out there in the ethernet, waiting to pounce.

Enjoy!

____________________

Orange Julius-ish
serves 2

1 cup orange juice
1 cup milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tbsp. sugar
6-8 ice cubes

Place ingredients in a blender. Blend on high. Pour into glasses, add straws and find sexy teenager in knee-high boots and tall hats to serve.

Easter in Santorini

Sitting around all day for five weeks, watching my wife and kids walk back and forth, had me longing for travel. So I busted out a 1000-piece Santorini puzzle that had been sitting in the garage since two Christmases ago.

I spent part of my honeymoon in the Greek Isles. I still remember like it was this morning my first revelatory taste of fresh Greek yogurt with honey for breakfast (before Greek yogurt was even a “thing” here). Santorini is a lovely island, the classic vision of “Greek isle” with whitewashed, blue-domed buildings clinging to cliffsides. It’s designation in recent years as “Europe’s favorite vacation isle” apparently has it these days somewhat overrun with continental tourists. But it was reasonably quiet when we were there — we swilled the delicious local Assyrtiko white wine while eating octopus on a balcony cantilevered over the azure blue dolphin-filled sea. Now, hermetically sealed at home with my family, I dreamed of that long, wine-hazy afternoon on the other side of the world.

So I tried to figure out whether the small blue puzzle piece in my hand was Aegean water, a blue dome, or sky. And the next thing I knew, it was Easter.

In years past, when I have been able to dodge the going-to-the-in-laws-for-Easter bullet, I have made a Roman Easter feast. But that required ingredients I knew I didn’t have — fava beans, escarole, mortadella, leg of lamb — and wouldn’t be able to procure without a terrifying and perilous trip to the grocery store. So I decided to see what I had on hand and could build a themed Easter feast around. In the freezer was a lamb shank, a Greek strifti cheese pastry swirl, in the fridge a large knob of feta, and a garden full of oregano… And I was set!

Chard, green onions and oregano from the garden

My garden — two enclosed terraces built with high hopes and much fanfare many years ago — produces almost nothing. If I plant ten tomato plants, I get twelve tomatoes. It sits on a shaded hillside covered with acidic oak leaves, and though enclosed, is under constant siege by gophers, squirrels and birds. The one thing I have been able to grow there — prolifically — is Swiss chard. It is fortunate I like Swiss chard. And because our climate in the coastal mountains of Southern California closely resembles that of the Greek isles, we have no problem with oregano. In fact, our biggest problem is we sometimes have to fight the oregano back from taking over our property.

I spent a good part of post-basket-hunt Easter morning preparing a chard, oregano and feta torta — dough rolled paper thin and filled with cheese and fresh greens, brushed with olive oil and baked to a crisp. Then braised my lamb shank and skewered wine-and-garlic-soaked pork. And in the afternoon, I drank wine and made some fresh corn masa for tortillas just because. (My Anson Mills hominy order had arrived the day before.)

Greek Easter feast

The kids set the table and lit candles, I laid out the platters of food, and we had a delightfully civilized Easter dinner. With the flavor of lamb, oregano and wine on my palate, I could even close my eyes for a moment and be transported away to that taverna patio in the Aegean Sea.

And when that sensation wore off and the plates were cleared, it was back to my puzzle.

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Greek garlic lamb shanks
serves 2

2 lamb shanks
2 large garlic cloves
I small sprig rosemary
1/4 cup olive oil
lemon wedge
salt & pepper

Cover lamb shanks in water in a pot, and bring to boil. Skim scum off the surface, add 1 tsp. salt, turn heat to medium-low and cover. Simmer for 2 hours. (Bonus! Broth can be used for su filindeu, a rare and wonderful type of Sardinian pasta.)

Remove shanks from broth, and reserve broth if you choose. As lamb shanks cool, place garlic, rosemary leaves (removed from sprig) and 1 tsp. salt in a mortar and pestle. Grind until smooth, then drizzle in olive oil, a little at a time, continuing grinding it in to emulsify. Squeeze lemon at the end and whip into aioli.

When shanks are cool, using your fingers or a pastry brush, cover shanks thoroughly with aioli.

Heat a grill to high heat. Grill shanks until golden, about 3-5 minutes per side, turning once.

Remove from heat and serve with more olive oil for drizzling.

Lamb Shanks Two Ways, and the World’s Rarest Pasta

Awhile back, I was reading Saveur magazine, and stumbled on an article entitled “On the Hunt for the World’s Rarest Pasta.”

Su filindeu — or “threads of God” — are a hand-pulled pasta the width approximately of human hair, served at the end of a 20-mile overnight pilgrimage through sheep country on the isle of Sardinia, a tradition that has dwindled down to two or three woman still able to make it. Here’s the article, a great read, if you want to learn more of the back story.

Sardinian sheep

The fine filamented noodle supposedly takes decades to master. Repeatedly stretched by hand, it grows thinner and thinner with each successive round. It is only eaten one morning a year, following a foot bath, in the Sardinian village of Lulu at the Sanctuary of San Francesco, boiled in a sheep stock and showered with grated sheep’s cheese. More

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