18 Nov 2011
by scolgin
in Observations, Starlets, Yoga Students & Quinoa (stories)
Tags: Anthony Bourdain, Ethiopian food, foodies, Gordon Ramsey, Little Ethiopia, Mario Batali, quinoa, Simpsons, soju, tapas
There are a lot of overly serious food blogs out there. What’s there to be so serious about? I hope people are laughing as they read my food blog.
I find “foodies” in general to be an overly serious lot. They make unfunny jokes about agrobusiness or sourcing free-range capon as they sit around trading cooking tips, sampling Asian tapas and sipping lychee soju martinis. I get antsy when people refer to me as a foodie. It feels like I’ve got some kind of ugly condition and people are whispering about me. I imagine them picturing me waiting in line at the latest food truck, and then Tweeting about it when I get home.
Yoga students and starlets tend to be overly serious about food, too — except in an opposite way from foodies. Rather than looking for the newest obscure Italian salumi, they spend their time scouring menus and ingredients lists, ever vigilant for things like butter and salt. Their lives become more about what NOT to eat, and how much fun is that?
Mario Batali, Julia Child and Colonel Sanders ala The Simpsons
I saw a recent episode of “The Simpsons” where Marge, Bart and Lisa become foodies and launch their own food blog. It was very funny. More
10 Oct 2011
by scolgin
in Recipes, Starlets, Yoga Students & Quinoa (stories)
Tags: artichokes, asiago, Henry VIII, parsley, polo, rib eye, risotto, Seamus Conlan, Shakespeare, Topanga
My friend Paul lovingly calls me “Seamus.” But I know a real Seamus — how many people outside of Ireland can say that? (Do you know a Seamus??)
Our friend Seamus is a man with a lust for life. Once at a party at our home, I had grilled a Herculean pork shoulder. I was busy tending to guests, wine and so forth, and when I came out to the large table on our deck, Seamus was standing at the head in his flowing white cotton shirt, his long flowing dark hair and thick English accent — holding court, quaffing wine and gesturing grandly as he carved the pork shoulder, a scene that might’ve been pulled from the pages of Shakespeare. More
29 Sep 2011
by scolgin
in Observations, Starlets, Yoga Students & Quinoa (stories)
Tags: carnivore, France, Germans, harvey's guss, Italy, laboratory, meat, SPAM, vegetarian
Some friends of ours had German guests visiting, and were going to take them to In & Out Burger. “I hope they have soy burgers,” said friend Amanda. “Our friends don’t eat any meat.” I suggested she get them regular burgers and tell them that they were soy burgers, and that they’d made incredible advances in soy technology. Germans are gullible that way. Suffering a national cuisine inferiority complex with France and Italy as neighbors, they’re likely to act overly knowledgeable and tell you they already knew that.
Meat grown in a lab
I was reminded of one of my younger sister, Siobhan’s, bouts of vegetarianism when we were teenagers. I was trying to get her to eat a chicken breast, and she was protesting. “They don’t have to kill the chicken,” I said, “they just cut the breasts off and they grow back. Like a lizard’s tail!” She glared at me. She also wasn’t buying my contention that to get chicken broth, all you had to do was wring the live chicken out over a pot. (More like “juicing” a chicken.) More
30 Aug 2011
by scolgin
in Observations, Starlets, Yoga Students & Quinoa (stories)
Tags: barbecue, BBQ, Beach Boys, Ecclesiastes, figs, pink wine, proseco, rib eye, rosé, summer
Culinarily speaking, summertime is a feminine season. Sure, the dudes are out by the grill — sucking beer, flipping burgers and talking pre-season football. But it is the salads, the lightly seared skinless chicken breast pailliards, the peaches and the pink wines that prevail.
Pink wine and figs
I sit here drinking my pink wine and looking at a bowl of figs, feeling emasculated. By late August, I’m wondering where is the cold weather and a long-braised leg of some animal? More
19 Aug 2011
by scolgin
in Observations, Recipes, Starlets, Yoga Students & Quinoa (stories)
Tags: anchovies, antipasto, France, fruits de mer, Nice, octopus, offal, pizza, polpo, sardines, sea urchin, Sicily, stinky cheese, sweetbreads
You would think everyone at my house would be living a life of culinary bliss, eagerly anticipating the next plate placed before them. But it ain’t always so…
Polpo diavolo
Everything is grand when I serve breaded chicken cutlets, hamburgers or pizza. Unless I try to slip some anchovies on top. But certain dishes elicit a blank stare from the kids — even from the wife on occasion — that says: “You expect me to eat that??” More
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