skinny girls & mayonnaise

Cesare Cardini

On a warm August night in 1932 in Tijuana, Mexico, Clark Gable sat slouched in a back booth of the restaurant at the Hotel Caesar, swirling the ice in his bourbon and pushing croutons and romaine around a plate with his fork. Across the table, Jean Harlow twirled a platinum curl around her index finger and glared across at him.

“You’re more interested in that salad than you are in talking to me,” she said in a vampy whisper.

“Sweetheart,” Gable replied, “If you were half as layered and complex as the dressing on this salad, then we’d have something to talk about.”

A dapper man with a servile smile and a starched white jacket emerged from the shadows, clasping his hands in front of him.

“Mr. Gable,” he said with a thick Italian accent, leaning in closer to the table,” Can I get you anything else?”

Gable glanced across at Harlow. “What’s the forecast back home, doll?”

“Dry as far as the eye can see,” she said.

Gable raised his bourbon. “One more for the road, Cardini.”

“Make that two,” said Harlow.

I just made that up. But it might’ve happened.

No salad, perhaps, has been written more about than the Caesar — invented, so the story goes, by Cesare Cardini at Caesar’s restaurant in Tijuana in the mid 1920s. There are whole books — and blogs, I’m sure — devoted to it. What more do I have to add? Nothing really. I’m a purist — I don’t like grilled chicken breast or seared ahi on top, I don’t like Southwestern style with sizzlin’ shrimp or half Romaine grilled on the barbie. But what I do have to contribute is a nifty shortcut on the dressing, which fits in nicely to my blog since it’s based on mayonnaise. (Shhh, don’t tell that yoga student you’ve got coming to dinner…) Since mayo is essentially an emulsion of egg, acid and oil, I figured it would stand in well for that raw egg that makes everyone nervous when they eat Caesar’s. It did.

Caesar Salad

Serves two

1 head romaine lettuce (or two heads baby romaine)
2 thick slices crusty bread, cut into cubes
olive oil
flaky salt
anchovies
shaved Parmesan

For the dressing:

2 tbsp mayonnaise
2 anchovies, minced
1 garlic clove, smashed in a mortar (or finely minced)
juice 1/2 lemon
a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce
a few grinds of fresh pepper
2 tbsp olive oil
1/4 cup grated Parmesan

Chop up romaine into large pieces. Toss bread cubes in olive oil with a little salt, place on a piece of foil and then toast in a 250 degree oven for around 30 minutes, until golden.

Make the dressing: combine mayo, anchovies, garlic and lemon juice in a large bowl. Add Worcestershire and pepper, then whip in olive oil to emulsify it into the dressing. Finally, mix in grated Parmesan.

Toss salad and croutons with dressing until thoroughly coated and distributed. Plate salad, top with anchovies to taste, and sprinkle with shaved Parmesan and freshly ground pepper.