skinny girls & mayonnaise

My father — born on the upper peninsula of Michigan — grew up, among other places, in the Chicago suburb of Evanston. I’ve always felt an affinity and paternal loyalty for the Windy City. Plus, they’ve got Wrigley Field, Charlie Trotter and Rick Bayless, and produced my favorite band, Wilco, and the coolest president ever! And then, of course, there’s the Chicago dog.

I grew up with a Chicago-style hot dog joint named Flooky’s down the street. I had a friend who lived right behind it. I sort of took a good hot dog for granted. We also had Pink’s and Cupid’s and various other hot spots, so finding a tasty dog in L.A. was never a problem. And today there are countless restaurants, food trucks and carts around town to meet your craving. But having a superior hot dog at a backyard barbecue or Superbowl party was always another thing altogether. Which brings me back to Chicago…

One day I was reading one of those lists online about the best hot dog places in Chicago. The best of the best, in said site’s opinion, was Hot Doug’s, which made a variety of homemade sausages including the now infamous fois gras hot dog which became embattled in Chicago’s fois gras ban (just for fun, Google: fois gras, Charlie Trotter, Hot Doug’s). The best of Doug’s dogs, however, according to the article was the classic Chicago dog. Curious, I began to research the Chicago dog. Variations on a theme of: all-beef frankfurter, steamed poppy-seed bun, yellow mustard, green sweet pickle relish, dill pickle spear, tomato wedges, sports peppers, celery salt. “Dragged through the garden,” if you will. I did.

I make my own variation, caramelizing the onions, forgoing poppyseed for plain, etc. And I revert to my tired ol’ refrain of “quality-of-ingredients”. My New Jersey-bred pal and connoisseur of all things cured, Ernie, directed me toward Boar’s Head natural casings frankfurters. He said Vienna Beef is good, too. “They both have that ‘pop!’ you’re looking for.” Would it still be good with a plain ol’ hot dog? Better than a stick in the eye, I suppose. But why not aspire to greatness?

Just in time for Superbowl, the world’s greatest hot dog — at home! Like at Hot Doug’s, serve with fries cooked in duck fat, if you’re Chicago enough:

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Chicago Dog

All-beef frankfurters in natural casing (2 per person)
soft hot dog rolls
1 large sweet onion
1 small sweet onion, peeled and chopped
grapeseed oil
yellow mustard
dill pickle spears
tomatoes, cut into 8-16 wedges, depending on size
slices jalapeños
sweet pickle relish
celery salt
sugar

Make caramelized onion. Peel large onion and slice thinly, then heat 2 tbsp. grapeseed oil in a large saucepan over medium high heat. Add onions and stir until wilted. Lower heat to medium, add 1 tsp. sugar, and cook for 10-15 minutes, stirring frequently, until soft and golden. Remove from pan to a dish.

Steam hot dogs in a large saucepan with a 1/2 cup water, covered. Heat buns by placing on top of cover of pan. When hot dogs are cooked thoroughly, place each inside a waiting bun. Squirt with mustard to taste. Then add in order, to taste: caramelized onions, relish, jalepeños, tomatoes, chopped fresh onion, pickle spear and celery salt. Serve with a good microbrewed beer.