26 Sep 2014 8 Comments
in Food, Humor, Observations, Pork Tags: abalone, Asian markets, chicken farming, Don Schneider, food, humor, opera, Pork, Portland, recipes
People often ask if we’re ever going to eat our pig, Henri. I explain that he’s a family pet, and no, we have no plans to eat him.
“Not even when he dies of natural causes?” my pal Dan asked.
“You mean like when an anvil falls on his head?” I replied.
Henri napping in the rosemary
I must admit, though … I did catch him napping in the rosemary one day, and thought to myself: “Now I could just build a quick mud oven around him, throw in some coals… and he’d never be the wiser.” More
12 Sep 2014 21 Comments
in Food, Humor, Pork Tags: black truffle, Iberico bellota pork, King Arthur flour, Nijiya Market, Perigord, Snake River Farms, tagliatelle
It was while browsing the produce aisle at my favorite Japanese market that I saw it — in a plastic container, settled on a bed of rice, a knobby black Perigord truffle.
Truffle-smothered Iberico pork shoulder steak
I picked it up and regarded it enviously. The price was $34, which for a truffle slightly smaller than a tennis ball seemed surprisingly reasonable. But it was more than I felt like spending, so I continued on to the fresh seafood section. But while I shopped for hamachi and albacore, my mind kept returning to the truffle. When I picked it up, I’d been hit by the unique perfume that told me this was a summer French truffle rather than a fall Oregon truffle. There is no other smell on earth like it. More
02 Sep 2014 4 Comments
in Humor, Pork, Recipes Tags: King's Hawaiian Bread, Labor Day, Laird Hamilton, Malibu, North Carolina barbecue, Pork, recipe, smoking, Topanga
While the rest of the Los Angeles swarmed the Labor Day weekend beaches to beat the heat, see the big waves and watch Laird Hamilton shoot the Malibu Pier, we elected to stay on the mountain, be satisfied with our Pacific breezes and almost-ocean views, and do what most people do for the holiday — barbecue.
The day’s star attraction
To be more precise, smoke. When I don my pit master hat, I usually default to one of two things — North Carolina pork shoulder or Texas brisket — or sometimes both. This weekend, it would be the latter. Like a morbid cartoon, I caught a particular pork shoulder winking at me from the meat aisle at the grocery store, and was smitten. More
30 May 2014 21 Comments
in Humor, Pork, Starlets, Yoga Students & Quinoa (stories) Tags: barbecue, BBQ, buttermilk fried chicken, California Chrome, Kansas City, Memorial Day, mint julep, muffaleta, North Carolina pork shoulder
I’m not sure what gave me the idea for a deep Southern barbecue for Memorial Weekend. I think it may have been the pile of paper plates and plastic cups I had left over from an event — no dishes to clean! (And you can’t exactly serve Tuscan grill on paper plates.) Maybe it was Brownie McGhee popping up on the iTunes playlist. Whatever the motivation, the invitations went out and preparations began.
Brisket & pork shoulders on the smoker
“Good god,” my friend Katy emailed when she got the invitation, “This is almost like catering the auction all over again. You’re obviously a glutton for punishment.” More
29 Apr 2014 7 Comments
in Humor, Pork Tags: gazpacho, humor, Irish potato famine, Pork, potatoes, Sprouts market, Topanga, Topanga Elementary Charter School, wood burning oven
I’ve begun sourcing for the massive auction dinner I will be preparing on Saturday night. While I was out shopping one day, I saw a 50 lb. bag of potatoes, and bought it.
“So I guess you’re doing a baked potato bar?” my friend Katy asked.
“Yes, with no condiments,” I replied. “Just baked potatoes. People will ask, ‘Do you have any sour cream or butter?’ And we’ll say, ‘No, just potatoes. And beer.'”
“I like it.” More
skinny girls & mayonnaise 