Good Gadget, Bad Gadget Pt. IV

Summer is on the horizon. Which means it’s time for a new onslaught of absurd kitchen gadgets. (Next winter’s clearance items.) Kudos to kitchen gadget inventors everywhere for their continued creativity in coming up with an infinite procession of products we didn’t even know we needed. (And, if you’re like me, you’re just clamoring for new gadgets to fill up all that empty cabinet space in your kitchen.)

As usual, when I’m finished exploring the world of the ridiculous, I will delve briefly into the truly useful — which is, sadly, a much smaller category. But first, the Hall of Shame:

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This may be the worst kitchen gadget ever invented. Thank you, Suzanna, for passing this one along:

Tuna press — to press the oil out of the tuna can... I kid you not.

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Your Continuing Cooking Education

The coffee table at our house

I have a Master’s degree in creative writing. But I’ve always said, the way I learned the most was by reading the great writers. Same with cooking.

I didn’t go to school for cooking. Most chefs didn’t. (Nor did William Faulkner or Virginia Woolf have Master’s degrees in writing.) I cooked in restaurants when I was a younger man. But I learned the most by reading, observing, studying what the great chefs were doing and doing that too, and by trial and error. More

Freako for Frico

Mini-Caesar salad in a frico cone

It’s one of life’s best things. That little bit of melted cheese that escapes from the edge of the grilled cheese sandwich or quesadilla, and sizzles into the pan, becoming crisp and lacy. More

Pizza 101

Lately I’ve been contemplating getting a wood-burning pizza oven. Our friends have a beautiful built-in outside and they invite me over to cook in it sometimes, and I get oven envy and mope for days. I found a very nifty pre-made one from Italy online (fornobravo.com), and my wife and I are currently in negotiations… Anyway… More

Umami Dearest

I love the Japanese! You know why? They make everything taste so good!

I got an email from my mom not long ago, asking me if I knew where her friend could find a product called “Umami” in a tube. Some clever person has pureed tomatoes, anchovies, mushrooms, etc., and put them in a nicely designed tube and is charging an obscene amount of money for it. More power to them. “That’s a lot to pay for tomato paste,” I said when my mom asked my opinion.

In case you’ve been stuck in your cave in the past several years and haven’t heard of “umami,” it’s the “fifth taste”. In other words, it adds “savory” to the canon of sweet, salty, sour and bitter. Umami was “discovered” in 1908 by the Japanese scientist Kikunae Ikeda. It was found in konbu seaweed and dried bonito flakes — the makings of the Japanese fish stock known as dashi. Later, it was identified and synthesized into the dreaded substance, monosodium glutamate. MSG. Voila! The reason everything the Japanese do tastes so good. (Well, not the only reason. But a big part…)

Fast forward, and every chef and his foodie brother is talking umami. It’s on menus, in cookbooks… people have even put it in the name of their restaurants. The Italians and French are singing its praises, even the Germans are jumping on board. And of course, many of the things they’ve always made and cooked with — parmesan cheese, fish, mushrooms, sauerkraut — are all rich in the unique profile of amino acids and ribonucleotides known as umami. Heck, it’s found in breast milk. The taste for umami is established early!

Is “umami” real? Can you add it to your food? Should you buy a tube of umami and will that catapult you into the stratosphere of the world’s finest chefs? Ummm…

My advice? Save the money you were gonna spend on your tube of umami paste for some nice steak or a lobster. Here’s how to make an umami paste yourself — you may find it adds savory zest to your food. Or go out and get yourself some MSG:

Umami Bomb
Add a tablespoon or so to pasta sauce, soup, sandwiches, whatever… And may the fifth taste be with you.

In a small food processor, place the following:

2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp grated parmesan cheese
2 anchovy fillets
6 oil cured black olives, pits removed
1 tsp capers
2 tbsp olive oil

Store in a small jar in your fridge. Will keep for a month or more.

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