Dinner with My New iPhone 6
13 Feb 2015 4 Comments
in Food, Humor, Video Tags: Apple, cooking, Don Schneider, food, humor, iPhone 6, Japanese food, sushi
My Ham
06 Feb 2015 13 Comments
in Humor, Starlets Tags: caviar, Chinese tacos, Cinco Jotas, Don Schneider, food, humor, iberico bellota, Paul Ferra, Spain, Spanish food
It was late on a Tuesday morning recently when I received a text from my friend, Melissa.
“A client gave us an Iberico ham,” she said. Problem was, she has two young vegetarian daughters who were going to be mortified at the sight of a whole pig leg with a hoof. “Are you interested in it?”
I was.
Jamon guitar with Curtis
She suggested her husband, Paul, wanted to get a little something for it. I offered him $300, he said, “Great!” And I had myself a whole Iberico bellota ham. More
Food Trends for 2015
30 Jan 2015 9 Comments
in Food, Humor Tags: 2015 predictions, food, food trucks, humor, Jonathan Gold, King's Hawaiian Bread, lists, Portland, sous vide, Toshio Tanabe
On the more or less one-year-later heels of my wildly popular “Food Trends for 2014” post of a year ago — okay, it was Freshly Pressed, which meant I got about 12,000 page views I wouldn’t have normally gotten — I present my thoughts for what may be on the horizon in the coming year for the foodie universe.
Here are some of my predictions:
• Detritus
Where last year I predicted an explosion in foraging, with well-meaning chefs and hipster home cooks appearing hunched over in woods, urban parks and even unsuspecting back yards, this year I imagine a new trend in plating where chefs scatter dirt, leaf duff, twigs and other miscellaneous detritus they discover over the top of their dishes. I did read an article recently about a chef in Tokyo who was actually using dirt in his food. I tried to make it up, folks, but I couldn’t — it had already happened.
Tokyo chef Toshio Tanabe trying to explain why his dirt tasting menu is a good idea
The Events of 1/13
16 Jan 2015 19 Comments
in Humor Tags: Charlie Hebdo, chickens, coyotes, food, humor, Malibu Feed Bin, Mammoth Mountain, Topanga
It had already been a tough week.
Enjoying our ski vacation in Mammoth, we were hit with the news of the terrorist attacks at the satirical paper, Charlie Hebdo, in Paris.
I had once purchased the URL, chickensacrifice.com, thinking I would do some sort of satirical online publication. I never did.
It was about 4 a.m. on the morning of January 13. I was returning in a daze from the bathroom to my bed when I heard a strange whimpering sound from outside — something like a cross between a baby crying and an owl. More
Blogotism
12 Dec 2014 28 Comments
in Humor, Observations Tags: blogging, blogs, cooking, fame, food, humor, Kim Kardashian, Sean Colgin, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, writing
It’s impossible to be objective when it comes to ourselves. Just in the way we can never know what other people see when they look at us, I sometimes wonder what other people must think of my blog.
Self-important-looking selfie with painting
“Stand up straight, babe,” my wife will sometimes say to me.
I wonder if there’s a blog equivalent of not standing up straight. Are any of my sentences lazy? More
skinny girls & mayonnaise 